Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
