What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
