..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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