Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize