your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I could fuck to npr.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize