dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Randomize
