it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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