he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize