physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
