How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
