Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
