this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
