Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
