I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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