dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
