is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Randomize