Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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