Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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