I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
