i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
