what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
