Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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