i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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