So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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