spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
