I seem to have left my pride at pride
this boner is exhausting
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
