I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
