Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
