Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
i need to put some appletini on your dick
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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