I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
