Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You need a sexual gate keeper
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
