Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize