it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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