Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
