New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
