I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
