when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
