Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
