I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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