Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
