I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
