so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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