my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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