I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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