She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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