Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
