i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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