I feel like abortions should bother me more
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
How does one acquire holy water?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
