Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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