He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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