New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
