its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
