Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
