It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
