apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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