that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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